Thursday, September 30, 2004

Cuttin' Grass in the Dark - A Suburban Myth

So its a gorgeous evening & I'm feeling spunky.
Birds have chirped & crickets are cranking - loudly.
What else is there to do but grab the lawn mower & cut until dusk.
Make that dark...
Dew is descending (or ascending)
& alls I cans sees is the wheel marks in the grass.
But baby, I'm making progress - line upon line, row upon row.
This thing is cutting smooth tonight.
When I get out of range of the street light,
I gun down one last section before I park that puppy
- that pushing beast in the shed.
I am a stud.

I come in, aglow with manly sweat
& my wife asks what I have been doing...
I resist the urge to "Duh" her...
20 years of marriage teaches a guy a thing or two
(& that's about all for most of us guys).

With a confident smile of accomplishment,
I proudly tell her I was cutting the grass
She should be wowed - in the dark - "what a man",
but instead she is bewildered

"I didn't hear the mower" says she.
"Are the windows open?" asks me.
"They sure are" says she.
I step to the window & hear the lawn mower running.
This is getting weirder each moment.
"Excuse me" I say, stepping caustiously to the shed.
It is silent, the mower motionless...
I run to examine the fresh cut lawn - flashlight in hand.
It isn't . . . No clippings.
Yet, I hear the mower, the mower... or is it...
no it, can't be... stupid crickets.

4 comments:

Jessica said...

:-) Nice. So did it really happen or just you being creative. ;) I would probably end up doing something like that.

karma_kameleon said...

good un, kerry

are crickets greener on the other side? :))

Kerry Doyal said...

For the record - most of that is true... just not the part about cutting with the mower off & thinking crickets were the motor. I did say it was a suburban myth. ;-) It was great grass cutting weather. Also, I didn't have my glasses on - so it was really dark / hard to see.

The "truest" part may be how little we guys learn...
BUT - I gots me one GREAT wife (20 yrs. this Dec. 1).

As the good book says: "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing & obtains favor from the Lord." ... & what a favor she is. Back to grace again!

ClickNathan said...

Well, Kerry - the plan at the moment is to, A:) move to Nevada if I get this job I've been after, just waiting for the final call or B:) if that fails, next summer I'm riding my bike from Erie PA to Flagstaff AZ over the course of 25 days.

You see, I have a baby, and he has a mother, and his mother doesn't just do whatever I say, so up and out isn't exactly an option. Though it needs to be.

From my house to yours,

ClickNathan