Friday, June 09, 2006

Wise Advice for Foolish Young Lovers

Recently I had the honor of doing a wedding of two "kids" I saw grow up from preteens to neat, godly Adults. What a joy! Interestingly, the wedding was on April 1, otherwise known as April Fool’s Day. No comments, please.

With wedding season bearing down on us, I am pleased to share the challenge I gave at their wedding. A last insider note to help you make sense of one bit of advice I offered, his last name, her now-married name is Short. Shhh, here comes the Bride….

From time immortal, or at least since the 50’s, mankind has sought an answer to this question: "Why do fools fall in love?" Yet fools do fall in love and holes, the mud and traps.

Most of us, when we fall into something, try to get out of it. With an April Fool's Day wedding, you've provided a great way to remember some important lessons for marriage.

Certainly— or should I say, "no fooling"— you want to live a life of wisdom and abandon all foolish ways. So to help you from being mere fools who fall into love and risk falling out of love or climbing out, I have some words for the W.I.S.E.

The Wise work to grow in love and stay in love. The Wise may find a deep emotional connection, but it is not something they fall into or fall for. It is the results of wise workmanship.

Proverbs 14:1 says "The wise woman builds her house, the foolish one tears it down with her own hands." Since you do not want to be that kind of man or woman, here is your W.I.S.E. advice.

"W" - Walk with the Lord. Live in close step with Him. Abide in the vine, Jesus.

Proverbs 1:7 teaches that the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." You need to walk with each other, but to do that best, walk with the Lord - as an individual, as a couple and in the community of the Church. To do otherwise is foolish and deadly to a relationship.

The second word to the WISE is "I", Invest in each other. Alexis, your dad knows a thing or two about this as a financial consultant, and also from the example he has set with your Mom. Investing means paying a price. [Here in the ceremony, I read Ephesians 5:21-33. Go thou and do likewise, dear reader.]

Alexis, love and show Ben respect. Ben, be willing to die for Alexis and die daily to self. Ephesians 5:21 instructs us "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Many investments, maybe all of them, have risk. So too in marriage, there is no promise of return. Yet not investing is worse, far riskier. If you want a return, you have to invest. Walk with the Lord and invest in each other sacrificially and trust God for a return, a dividend.

The third W.I.S.E. advice is easy to remember. "S" - Keep Short accounts. Forgive.

In 1 Corinthians 13:5 we are wisely instructed that "love keeps no record of wrong". It does not take into account wrongs suffered. No score keeping, no family historians. Keep short accounts.

Ephesians 4:26 says "Be angry and sin not. Do not let the sun go down on your anger." If you do this, you’ll show great wisdom. If not, you’ll prove foolish and tear down your home with your own hands.

Walk with the Lord. Invest sacrificially. Keep short accounts, forgive.

Your last W.I.S.E. word is "E" - Enjoy. Where did Jesus perform His first miracle? At a party, a wedding party. The thought of the host being embarrassed by running out of wine and the party ending early was unacceptable to Him.

God created and gave us marriage. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. The last time I looked, gifts are to be enjoyed. Enjoy each other— laugh with, and not at each other. Play, celebrate, and extend the honeymoon.

Life can be hard. Make your home a haven, a slice of heaven. Be a harbor from storms. Host your friends often, yet hole up too and enjoy each other.

So again, I ask the question: "Why do fools fall in love?" They weren’t watching where they were going. It is said that love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Yet, the Wise go in fully alert and aware. They walk with the Lord. They invest sacrificially in each other. They keep short accounts, forgive. They enjoy each other till death they do part.

May you live lives of wisdom, reverencing, honoring, and fearing God. Let us pray.


Jim Martin said...

A very good post! Thanks. You say a lot in a few paragraphs.

John Frye said...


It's great to read your stuff...we can tell you love being a pastor. I liked your words to the W.I.S.E.

Kerry Doyal said...

Thanks Jim. I rarely am cited for brevity. What I mean by that is . . . ;-)

Thanks John. You seem to have a liking for it too. Congrats on Scot Mc doing your book!

Dodi said...

Bless ya, bro. This lesson during my son's wedding was a thrill to experience, and a joy to remember for always.

Love you!